Joke of the day - Page 49 - F-Series & SuperDuty Diesel Forums

BIG JOE · 08-18-2011, 08:50 PM

With the Economy the way it is.... EXXON, CHEVRON & BP have had to Lay Off several Congressmen..

DaveBen · 08-18-2011, 08:57 PM

Now, THAT is funny!!

Dave

JLDickmon · 08-19-2011, 09:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG JOE

With the Economy the way it is.... EXXON, CHEVRON & BP have had to Lay Off several Congressmen..

I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck...

94f450sd · 08-22-2011, 08:32 PM

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked...
"Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So she does... And it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had.
That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous.
Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

02SilverStroke · 08-22-2011, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 94f450sd

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?"
"I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked...
"Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So she does... And it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had.
That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous.
Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

Now that's funny, I don't care who you are!!!!!

DaveBen · 08-22-2011, 11:19 PM

That is not bad. I am still laughing! I give it an 8 out of 10.

Dave

02SilverStroke · 09-08-2011, 10:21 PM

A lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide.
The pharmacist asked, "Why?"
The lady replied, I need it to poison my husband.
The pharmacist said 'Lord have mercy! that's against the law! Absolutely not!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, You didn't tell me you had a prescription

Deerjager · 09-13-2011, 04:23 PM

There was this small church in Pennsylvania that had a very big-busted Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably.
The very proper church ladies were appalled... They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another Organist.

So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green Persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green Persimmons, though, "because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while".

She agreed to try it.

The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said......"
"Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday."

WD40 · 02-16-2012, 11:27 PM

This will drive you nuts! Have fun! Click on the following:

UNDER WATER BOWLING
http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/fu...5/graphic1.swf

WD40 · 02-17-2012, 03:59 PM

AN IRISH WEDDING

At the wedding reception someone yelled...

"Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."

The bartender was almost crushed to death.

08-18-2011, 08:50 PM	#481
BIG JOE SDD Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: CenCal Posts: 4,378 Thanks: 101 Thanked 392 Times in 381 Posts	The Economy With the Economy the way it is.... EXXON, CHEVRON & BP have had to Lay Off several Congressmen..

08-18-2011, 08:57 PM	#482
DaveBen SDD Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Ukiah, California Posts: 7,876 Thanks: 127 Thanked 507 Times in 490 Posts	Now, THAT is funny!! Dave __________________ 2004 F-350 Regular cab with 6.0, Torqshift, 4X4, and just about all of the rest of the options. I added Guages, Satellite Radio, Air Horns, and a coolant filter. Bilstein shocks. Battery Desulphater that really works. Installed Jimmi Jammers. Pictures here: http://community.webshots.com/user/dbennett48 Completely Stock. I had a Detroit Diesel 8V92TA in a KW dump truck in 1980. That sucker would put out 425 hp but would never out pull a CAT.

08-22-2011, 08:32 PM	#484
94f450sd certified nutjob Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: plymouth,ma Posts: 2,275 Thanks: 23 Thanked 27 Times in 26 Posts View Photos By: 94f450sd	A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a girl about to jump off a bridge so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity so he asked... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So she does... And it was a long, deep lingering kiss. After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous. Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......" __________________ RICH my pictures 95 F350 XLT,automatic,CC,dually 2WD,fully loaded.,328,000miles.Dana HD70 rear with 4.10 gears,trans temp,pyro,and boost gauges on the pillar.3" down pipe.TS 6 pos.chip with the crazy TWILDMAN programs!!,.intercooled,DIY tymar,monsterbox E4OD, BDP stage 2s,BDP fuel system,stealth HPOP from BDP powered by,Beans diesel performance old best,15.340@86.93MPH new best,15.079@91.53MPH 367HP,not running 100% poor mans onboard air,wannabe train horns and hadleys on the roof 72 pontiac lemans GT37

08-22-2011, 11:19 PM	#486
DaveBen SDD Senior Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Ukiah, California Posts: 7,876 Thanks: 127 Thanked 507 Times in 490 Posts	That is not bad. I am still laughing! I give it an 8 out of 10. Dave __________________ 2004 F-350 Regular cab with 6.0, Torqshift, 4X4, and just about all of the rest of the options. I added Guages, Satellite Radio, Air Horns, and a coolant filter. Bilstein shocks. Battery Desulphater that really works. Installed Jimmi Jammers. Pictures here: http://community.webshots.com/user/dbennett48 Completely Stock. I had a Detroit Diesel 8V92TA in a KW dump truck in 1980. That sucker would put out 425 hp but would never out pull a CAT.

09-08-2011, 10:21 PM	#487
02SilverStroke SDD Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Collin County, Texas Posts: 2,011 Thanks: 1 Thanked 44 Times in 42 Posts	The Prescription A lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asked, "Why?" The lady replied, I need it to poison my husband. The pharmacist said 'Lord have mercy! that's against the law! Absolutely not!" The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, You didn't tell me you had a prescription __________________ Wayne 08 F150 XLT Stone Green 2WD SuperCrew 07 Ford Explorer 1947 Ford 2N Tractor 02 F250 XLT Silver 2WD CC 7.3 PSD SWB - Traded 99 Dutchmen 27' 5th Wheel - For Sale

09-13-2011, 04:23 PM	#488
Deerjager Meister Gewehr Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Forest City, NC Posts: 190 Thanks: 4 Thanked 20 Times in 20 Posts View Photos By: Deerjager	The Church Organist and Green Persimmons There was this small church in Pennsylvania that had a very big-busted Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled... They said something had to be done about this or they would have to get another Organist. So, one of the ladies approached her very discreetly and told her to mash up some green Persimmons and rub them on the nipples of her breasts and maybe they would shrink in size, but warned her to not eat any of the green Persimmons, though, "because they are so sour they will make your mouth pucker up and you won't be able to talk properly for a while". She agreed to try it. The following Sunday morning the minister got up in the pulpit and said......" "Dew to thircumsthanthis bewond my contwol, we will not hath a thermon tewday." __________________ 2001 F-250 XLT CC SB 4X4, Auto & 3.73 gears 71K miles, AFE filter, Tuner, stock rims, changed head & turn lights over to '03, Rancho Shocks, MANIK brush guard, Added power driver seat and 3 bar light under tailgate, Muffler deleted, ZooDad Mod. LED lighting in camper shell. "The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government."-Thomas Jefferson Liberalism is an insult to one's common sense! I was anti-Obama before anti-Obama was cool ! μολων λαβέ NRA Life Member

02-16-2012, 11:27 PM	#489
WD40 SDD Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Benton Arkansas & McAllen Posts: 2,759 Thanks: 57 Thanked 111 Times in 107 Posts View Photos By: WD40	This will drive you nuts! Have fun! Click on the following: UNDER WATER BOWLING http://ak.imgag.com/imgag/product/fu...5/graphic1.swf __________________ 2006 Ford F-350 Crew Cab Lariat 4X2 PSD 6.0 TorqShift Automatic Transmission, MAG-HYTEC DIFF COVERS Bama ZooDad If you think the 6.0 is bad.....Get a 6.4 2004 35 ft Hitch Hiker 16589 EW. Doug Is it time to go camping yet?

02-17-2012, 03:59 PM	#490
WD40 SDD Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Benton Arkansas & McAllen Posts: 2,759 Thanks: 57 Thanked 111 Times in 107 Posts View Photos By: WD40	AN IRISH WEDDING At the wedding reception someone yelled... "Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living." The bartender was almost crushed to death. __________________ 2006 Ford F-350 Crew Cab Lariat 4X2 PSD 6.0 TorqShift Automatic Transmission, MAG-HYTEC DIFF COVERS Bama ZooDad If you think the 6.0 is bad.....Get a 6.4 2004 35 ft Hitch Hiker 16589 EW. Doug Is it time to go camping yet?

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